I got a text from my Cousin Megan this past weekend- “BAB-You are six years cancer free Sunday! Wahooooo!!! ” I nearly fell off my chair. One, I was so touched that she actually recorded the date of my milestone (I hadn’t even done that) and two, I can’t believe it’s been that long. Yes, I am one of the lucky people that can say ” I am a survivor”. At 38 years old I was diagnosed with a malignant tumor in my Colon (OK, if you really must know it was in my rectum… yes, my tush, hiney, a-s-s. And a pain in the a-s-s it was!) I underwent chemotherapy, radiation, three surgeries including a bowel resection and a temporary colostomy bag. I haven’t thought or talked about it in a while, but since Megan brought it to my attention, here I sit, traveling back in time. You probably think I am going to tell tales of woe, but I’m not. For me, Cancer was life-changing, but believe it or not, for the better! I looked at it like it was an adventure (sounds silly, I know, but that’s where I put it in my brain to force out the negativity and bring on the battle) I compared it to an adventure such as rock climbing or reaching the summit…succeeding at something that I never tried before. That was my defense mechanism…and it worked! The most important thing I brought away from my experience with the “big C” was the realization that there really is only one thing that matters in this life–and that is the people in it and the love that they share… So the amazing people who helped me along my journey were of course, my wonderful and loving family, my neighbors and friends who sat with me during my chemo treatments, cooked, cleaned and babysat and an organization called For Pete’s Sake (formerly Crossing the Finish Line) who sent my family on an all expense paid trip to Disney World so we could “Take a Break from Cancer”. This was by far the best gift I have ever received in my lifetime and I will always be indebted to this wonderful organization. For Pete’s Sake founder, Marci Schankweiler asked me to speak at an event upon our return from our respite. Of course, I did! It was the least I could do! Here is my speech from 2008.

“My name is Bethanne Brown and according to my last Cat-Scan I am cancer free! I suffered from Colon Cancer and I had, as I tell people, a year literally plucked from my life while I tried to beat the dreaded dragon (which I did!!) I have three young girls ranging in age from 5 to 8 and a wonderful husband, Steve, who was my rock during my journey/illness. I was lucky enough to be one of “the chosen ones” and I became what they call a For Pete’s Sake “sailor” when some friends and my doctors nominated me for a respite experience with my family.

The wonderful thing about the people from For Pete’s Sake is their ability to realize that cancer is not only trying for the patient, it does quite a number on the family! The family members of FPS sailors often benefit from these vacations more than the patients! I know that’s the truth in my case. While I was undergoing chemo, radiation, and surgery, my husband had to wear all the hats. He not only had to hold down his full time job, he also became “Mr. Mom”. My girls went without Mom’s touch for a while. I heard one funny story when I returned from one of my surgeries. –Two of my girlfriends were at the pre-school water fountain using the water to smooth down my youngest daughter’s “bed-head” that my husband missed in the craziness of getting three girls out the door for school in the morning. My friends and I had a good time teasing Steve about this one! My worst memory from the whole experience, which I don’t think I’ve ever shared with Steve is–I remember my heart breaking when my daughter came in the bedroom after having a nightmare and instead of going to my side of the bed, which she always did, she went to Daddy’s side. I was devastated! But I fought the good fight and eventually worked my way back to “mommyhood”. 

In the middle of our turmoil I got a call from Marci’s mom, Mariann, telling me that my family had been chosen to enjoy a vacation or what they call at For Pete’s Sake, a “respite experience" to take a break from cancer. I had to decline the first time because it was too close to my surgery recoup, but they were able to reschedule and sent us to their house in Davenport, Florida, which is just minutes from Disney World. We had the time of our lives! We didn’t leave a stone unturned and enjoyed every minute!

It’s difficult for me to put into words what this meant to our family… We had just been through a year of doctors, needles, sleeping Mommy, missing Mommy, tired Daddy, worried Mommy… This trip gave us a chance to forget about the cancer and just enjoy each other. It was, for us, a celebration because I had completed all of my surgeries and treatments and was set free to go get stronger and better, which I am proud to say, I did! 

While we were there, we took time to read the journal that is in the house where sailors can write about their trip and their fight with cancer. There was something really moving about that book…the fact that all of the sailors had these two things in common; something so awful, which would of course be this dreaded disease , and something so wonderful–this free time with the people they love most in the world! The hardest part for Steve and I, which we contemplated while we were there, was the knowledge that some of these people were spending their last vacations ever with their family and these are some of their last memories they will share. We realized then and there-1. How lucky we were to have a second chance at life and 2. How wonderful and important For Pete’s Sake is for people dealing with this sometimes fatal disease. FPS gets it…There is nothing more important than LOVE, TOGETHERNESS, and FAMILY. FPS is able to give that gift to people again and again and there is no gift greater. Today, Steve and I would like to personally thank Marci and For Pete’s Sake . You should be so proud of yourselves for what you have done for so many families. 

I would like to dedicate this blog post to a friend I made during my cancer journey, Joanna Little. Joanna and I had parallel lives for a while. We both had the same diagnosis, the same treatment and we were both lucky enough to be For Pete’s Sake Sailors! It was nice to have someone to know exactly what I was going through and share our stories and complaints with one another. Unfortunately, Joanna lost her battle with Cancer last year and I think about her often… I think about her when I am frustrated with my life, my kids, the crazy schedule… I think about how she would probably give anything to be with her kids, frustrated or not! I often feel guilty because I was given another chance and she was not….why?… My promise to her is to try to live the very best life I can and remember what is important… Forget all the other stuff! It’s all about the L-O-V-E!